With You by My Side
by Mirabella Motz
Summary: Mira wants despratly to understand how Momiji feels but it's hard for her to understand...  A colection of Mirabella's experiences with the man she loves so very much...
1. Chapter 1: Snowfall

Snowfall

I bent down to touch the snow that wasn't yet stained with dirt, the snow that had freshly fallen on the grass of the park near the Sohma House. I remember when my life was as simple and innocent as that. I wished for that simplicity back. I craved it. I bent my head upwards. The sky was golden, as if waiting for dusk to replace the light of afternoon. I stood up from my crouching position and walked over to the abandoned playground. I placed my hand on the cool metal of the swing set and almost felt the memories slam themselves back into my head.

I didn't want to come here alone, not here, off all places, but something compelled me to. I tried to get my sister to come with me, but God forbid Mimi went somewhere in the cold. I sat down hard on the swing, making the old structure creak with resistance.

'Just a couple minutes,' I thought to myself, 'I'll only spend a couple minutes wallowing in old memories.'

The almost night air swirled around me, as if giving me a hug and I wandered into my thoughts…

Six years ago…

The exact swing I had drifted off on was moving, but not with the winds power, as it had been before. A girl was sitting on it, she looked about seven, but I knew better than that. Her round face gave her a child-like feel, but she really was around 13. Her legs were still struggling to move the swing, and I almost laughed. The girl had a sweet face and a porcelain doll complexion, her long maroon hair swirled around her in attempt to enshroud her. She looked so happy despite the horrible tragedy that had unfolded around her. That was her way of coping. Even with such terrible, unspeakable hurt in her heart. I knew every ounce of sadness she contained in there. I should… She was me. Now I couldn't laugh now if I tried. Tears threatened to escape my eyes.

"CRY, DAMMIT!" I screamed at her, "GET THE HATE AND PAIN OUT OF YOUR HEART!"

She couldn't hear me, of course. She would have to find out on her own that such actions of harboring sadness had consequences. I willed the scene to change; I didn't want to continue this memory.

Two years ago…. 

This time the same girl sat on a bed in the corner of the room. Her hair cut in a layer bob, came down three inches past her ear. The same innocent look of child-hood still shown in her amber colored eyes. She listened to a handsome blonde boy play the violin in front of her with almost unreal perfection. His caramel colored eyes were closed in concentration and the girl observed his expression. His face unsettled from its usually happy expression, and with it replaced a serious face filled with sadness and fiery passion. She almost wanted to walk over and touch it to make sure it was real. He was even more beautiful than he had ever been. The song flew around the room and touched something in the depths of her mind that had been guarded for four years, that darkness that stained her heart when her family rejected her. Tears had stained her cheeks by the time the boy placed his violin down on the desk. He turned around to smile at the girl and suddenly his face melted in concern.

"Mira! What's wrong? Are you okay?" He said, frantically, cupping her cheek.

"I didn't kill him." She sobbed, "I didn't mean to. How could I."

"What are you talking about?" The boy said, now confused.

"My brother… He just fell! I didn't push him! I COULDN'T! I wouldn't! I tried to save him!" She said, tears flowing freely down her face. In her hysterics, she screamed. "WHY WON'T THEY BELIEVE ME?"

Her breaths came in shuttering gasps and she tried to get up to run away, but the boy grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"That was years ago. They're gone. You have a new family. You're okay." He tried to get her to remember.

"I loved him so much. I wasn't crazy…. Why would I… How could they convict me like that?" She said in between gasping breaths. She didn't want to do this in front of him, she didn't want this. She yanked her hand away from his grasp and slung open the screen door leading to the backyard. She ran for only a block before collapsing into dry-heaves.

"Why now! Why this! I paid my debt! I never killed him!" She cried out on the snow covered, cement path. She shuttered again, and wondered if it was due to cold or insanity.

Suddenly a figure appeared in front of her and lifted her up. When he set her on her feet, his strong hands held her in place.

"Listen, Mirabella, Sweetheart." He removed his hand and placed it on her cheek and used his thumb to wipe the excess of tears. "You're safe now. Nobody will get you. We all know you couldn't have killed your brother. You're too kind, too sweet. You being there when he fell was coincidence…. a terrible coincidence." Younger Me turned her head to hide fresh tears, but the blonde haired boy turned her head back to him. He pulled her into an embrace and she waited for the poof of his transformation. When it didn't come, she looked up with a shocked expression.

"Momiji." She said, with a new set of tears on her face. This time they represented happiness.

"Yes, Mira?" He said as he wiped her tears from her face again.

"I…I" She stammered, but before she could finish Momiji lowered his head and brought his lips to hers. Oh, how she wished she knew how such a moment of sadness could turn into one of such happiness. When the kiss broke they looked at each other with a smile.

"I love you, too, Mira." He said. He picked her up and spun her around. Their happiness evolved into another scene…

Six months ago…

"You just have to go!" That girl said with an over exaggerated smile. My younger self clung to the arm of the same boy in the memory before. "Miji, it's your dream. You must follow it."

"But it means leaving you." He said, as if that explained everything. She never quite understood how he could love her, though he never failed to tell her so. He was perfect. He was tall, but not so tall she couldn't slow dance with him. His structure was lean but he was extremely fit. This explains how he could pick her up on a regular basis… which he insisted on doing. He has the blonde hair that every girl walking by stopped and stared at and the warm brown eyes that made you spill every one of your secrets to him. His smile melted hearts, his laugh made strangers smile, and yet he chose her. She would never understand why, but she had just accepted it by now.

His looks weren't the only thing that attracted her to him. His ability to make her laugh no matter how sad she, was something she greatly admired. His ability to express himself through his music fascinated her. He had the greatest skill she had ever seen and he always played with such intensity it made her want to cry. He tried to teach her once but she had failed miserably. She was doomed to always listen to the music she loved… never play it. That thought brought her back to the topic at hand.

"I'll call you every day. This is what you've always wished for." She said, turning around and facing him. "You'd be an idiot not to take this chance."

"Say that again." He commanded with a serious face, which only came out every so often.

"Hmmm?" She said confused.

"Tell me I'm an Idiot." He said, almost forcefully.

"You're an Idiot! You care so much for this and you're just willing to throw it away for something as stupid and meaning-less as not wanting to leave me." He grabbed her and pulled her into a rough kiss that left her breathless when he let her go.

"Dammit, Mira! You're not making this easier." He yelled.

"You're the one that kissed me." She replied quietly.

"Not that." He answered, running his hand through his gorgeous hair. "I was trying to get you to make me angry at you. It just made me pissed at myself for letting you think you were useless! How could you." He stepped closer and raised his hand to my cheek. "Can't you tell how much I love you. Without you… I wouldn't have a reason to live, let alone play the violin. Realize that, Mirabella."

"I….I can't just accept that." She said, knowing it would make it easier for him to leave. "Get in that car." She pointed at the door and he looked stunned.

"Mira… no, I can't…." He started.

"Get your ass in that car before I have to make you!" She yelled. He had never seen her mad before and looked stunned.

"You really don't care, do you?" He said with a frown.

"I don't care…" She said, even though I did.

"Please realize, Mira… Understand for me…" He said. He open the door and exited the room.

After he left she whispered… no I whispered something. "I love you, Momiji. That's why you have to take this chance…" Tears ran down my face as I sat down on the bed I had first cried on. "I'll try to understand… I'll try."

…With that I was jolted into reality.

Present…

The rain fell cold and wet on my frail little figure. It wasn't cold enough to snow again… I knew what this meant… Everything was going to be all icy and slippery tomorrow. I tasted the salt of the tears I didn't mean to cry and didn't even bother to wipe them away. I was going to get soaked anyways. I didn't care anyways. I had realized the point of that… little episode. It was my heart telling me that I had realized what Momiji had been trying to tell me. All too late, I knew. He was probably in Spain… playing for an opera of some sort. He loved me, Just as I loved him. How it was possible… why the fates placed us together, I didn't know, but I knew what mattered. He loved me from the start, even when I knew I didn't deserve it….

"I realize now… I know…" I said to the now dark and crying sky.

A figure walked out of the darkness ahead of me. His hair was dark with rain but still held the color I loved. The rain made his dress-shirt stick to his well built chest and he should have been shivering… no… He should have been in Spain.

"Took you long enough, Sweetheart." He said, with a smile.

"Miji?" I questioned not his appearance but his actuality. I would know that look anywhere… but I had trouble believing it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me.

"Were you expecting Willy Wonka?" He said, stepping closer to me. His signature smile flashed across his face and I couldn't resist. I threw myself into his arms and he grabbed me. He kissed me with that sweet fiery passion I missed so desperately.

"I… I" I stuttered.

"I love you too, Mira." He said and I smiled.

"I love you so much." I said, and we walked, in the freezing rain, back to the house…. Not feeling the cold of winter air, only the heat of the love we shared so equally.

… I only wish I could see the face of the night-guard in the park.


	2. Chapter 2: Hurt

It hurt… Not talking to him. The strange sensation of not having anyone to fall back on… scared me. I eyed my phone and it seemed to pull me towards itself. I pulled myself off of my bed, where I had been sitting for a while and plugged in my phone. My phone was dead for the purpose of me not getting on it, to help me resist the temptation of talking to him. I wasn't going to forgive him. I still am not. How could I. My phone flickered on and I flipped it open.

"56 unread messages" It read and I almost literally gasped. 56 messages. Who the hell had time to send 56 messages? The answer lay right at the bottom of the screen, Miji. I closed the phone and placed it on my desk.

In the past hour I switched between restlessly IMing Mimi and Haru to reading my favorite book, _To Kill a Mockingbird_. I told myself over and over that things would get better, that the one misplaced feeling of guilt couldn't last forever. Right now, I hope that I'm right. I ran my hand through my short red hair and smelt the comforting scent of strawberries and cream, my shampoo. The shampoo, Momiji bought me for my birthday a couple weeks ago. Last week… Last week everything had been fine. I was content to think Momiji was actually spending time in secret with his little sister. But that all changed in a couple sentences from a friend.

"Are you really so blind? Can you not see he's cheating on you? It's so blatantly obvious that he's just using you. You… of all people should recognize the signs. The signs of being no more than a _play-thing_." Alluna spat.

I knew the signs, but I didn't see them in Momiji. He was so sweet, so safe. Not like any of "them". Nothing ever seemed suspicious. I trusted him with everything I had and obviously that was a mistake. Right now, I was tired and wanted nothing to do with anything except sleep. In my exhaustion I went through the obligatory night-time ritual of checking my phone for messages without thinking. First message of the 56 read.

'Hey, what's wrong? I don't understand. Are you okay? Are you hurt?'

When I realized what I did I actually face-palmed. Reading the message more carefully, I chuckled and whispered, "More then you know, darling. More then you know…" My doom already sealed, I read the next message.

'Please, Mira. Are you okay?'

And the next.

'I don't know what's wrong but just know I love you more then you could imagine.'

Tears formed in my eyes and I let them run down my porcelain cheeks as I clicked to the next message.

'I'm really worried Mira. Call me please!'

'I've got to go to a concert, but I'm coming over on my way back if I don't hear from you.'

Now I worried, this text was sent 4 days ago at 5:30 in the evening. I shook my head and reminded myself that I couldn't worry about him. He could take care of himself, obviously.

'You should come to the concert. We need a soprano to tackle some Phantom of the Opera and your voice is more than beautiful enough. Alluna is here… Asking about you.'

Alluna… Alluna said she spent last night with Kyo. I shook of the feeling of betrayal. She probably meant with him at the concert.

'Alluna told me about the problem, and I'm sorry you feel this way. I'll just leave you alone.'

What had she said, did she tell him that I knew about what he was trying to pull. Good… but why did I feel so terrible.

'Why can't I just let you walk away? I guess I'm just selfish. I don't really care if you look at these messages… I mean I hope you are, but… What can I say to bring you back to me?'

'I've never this terrible before. I don't even know what I did, but I'm sorry. So sorry.'

'Ha, I guess I really am pathetic. I just love you so much. Please call me.'

It went on and on until I saw this message.

'I talked to Alluna again today, she told me about him. I'm just glad you're happy again. I want to let you know… I'm always going to be here, waiting for you.'

I closed my phone. I place it on the bed as I got up. I didn't bother doing anything with my hair, slipped a sweatshirt over my baggy t-shirt and pulled on some jeans from the accumulating pile of laundry that I need to fold and put away. I headed straight for the door and stopped only to put on my shoes. I need to straighten things out.

I stopped running in front of Alluna's house and I went straight up to the door. Not even bothering to knock I bolted in the door and the scene before my eyes almost explained itself. It was Alluna throwing her herself at Momiji, quite violently. He was standing un-comfortably in the corner of the living room as she tried to claw her way to him through various articles of furniture. What the funny thing was is that he was trying as hard as he could to fight her off without hurting her, seeing as he was a gentleman. Luckily, I was under no such expectation. I pulled her off him (If it was him… maybe it was a very unlucky coffee table.) and punched her straight in the face. Maybe not the cleverest approach to the matter, but it was certainly the most satisfying.

She looked at me in shock as she tried to form words. Momiji had the same look on his face, except his face most likely wasn't broken into millions of little pieces.

"Momiji." I said, flooding with guilt. The remains of what used to be my friend crawled her way back to her feet and I tensed up.

"Why don't we talk somewhere else?" Momiji said quickly, picking me up under his arm and hurried me out of the house and down towards the park. Finally he set me down on a bench under a shady tree. I laughed, for the first time in a while. Even despite the circumstances, I laughed. I always found it made me feel better.

"Well, that was interesting, to say the least." Momiji said, scratching his head and managing a smile.

"You can say that again. I assume that your little Momo is doing well." I say quite calmly, even though the answer to this question determined whether I could trust him again.

"Yeah… She is." Momiji said with another breathtaking smile. Curse his ability to make my legs turn into jelly. I had not been sitting I would have fallen straight over. "Yesterday she brought me to see her new dog… This reminds me, I have to explain something when we're done with this. How's Peter?"

"Who now?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed and waved it off, "That's enough of an answer by itself."

Laughter ceased and I looked into his magnificently blue eyes. I couldn't believe I was ever mad at him. Momiji of all people. The sweetest, most amazing guy in the world. The only guy I could ever love. He raised his hand to my cheek and smiled.

"I missed you, beautiful." He whispered.

I moved my head until my lips were near his. His kiss was familiar and sweet, and I had missed it. He wrapped his arms around me, and we kiss like this… with a slow and building passion, until a sudden bark jolted me from Momiji's arms.

The source was a huge and happy, black Great-Dane, charging full force at us. Momiji chucked and stood.

"Bracing for slobber in 3, 2…" He chuckled and I stood to brace myself for impact.

I knew that, be it slobber or so-called best friends, I wanted to weather this storm with Momiji by my side. Strong and steady, the only one for me.


End file.
